This page is dedicated to a dear friend of mine, Greg. Greg is
the world's self-proclaimed lonliest guy, and so far we have not found
anyone that would fight him for the title. By telling about Greg's life,
we hope to accomplish one of two things. First, we hope to find someone
that would like to go out with Greg, or Hell, just find someone who is
kind of interested in him. Secondly, we hope to find someone that has
had shittier luck in life than poor ole Greg.
Greg is always depressed and sad. His whole life consists of work and school.
He was so happy on Tuesday because two of the four girls that work up there
with us talked to him for more than 2 minutes. That was one of the best days that Greg
has had in months. One of the major things that contributed to Greg's
condition, was his now ex-girlfriend. Greg and her had gone out
for almost two years, and one day, out of the blue, she left Greg.
After the breakup, Greg thought that he would buy himself a boat. He
figured that he and his freinds could go cruising out on the reservoir,
and he hoped that he might be able to pick up a girl or two. Well, Greg
has had that boat for almost a year now, and he has been out in it
twice. The first time he took it out, the boat sunk, and the second time
he took it out, the prop broke. Poor ole Greg hasn't even had a girl in
that boat. Around the first of the year, Greg got a new truck. Wouldn't
you know that one night, two weeks after he got it, Greg was really
depressed, he got drunk, and he wrapped his brand new truck around a
tree? Someone tell me they have had shittier luck!
Greg's favorite movie is The Lonly Guy. Greg was so inspired by this movie that he
actually went out and bought a fern and named it Larry. Greg brought
Larry to work with him becuase he spends more time at work then he does
at home.
Someone please come forward and tell me that they have had a
shittier life than Greg. We at least want to give him some ray of hope,
and prove to him that at least one person has had a shittier life then he
has.
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